ONLINE THERAPY IN WASHINGTON STATE & California

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

Heal From Attachment & Developmental Trauma

You Want To Feel Better & Grow

Have you been in talk therapy for months or years without deep, lasting transformative change? 

  • Do you feel easily overwhelmed and confused by emotions? 

  • Do you feel alone, invisible, and like no one understands your experiences?

  • Do you avoid conflict, disagreements, and find it hard to ask for what you want?

  • Do you manage feelings and thoughts by avoiding or distracting through things like working and keeping busy? 


I practice a form of therapy called IFS which facilitates deep, long lasting, growth, change and insight.

What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?

  • IFS therapy stands for Internal Family Systems therapy.

  • It's a type of therapy that helps people understand and manage their different feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.

  • The idea is that everyone has different parts of themselves, like an angry part or a sad part, and these parts can sometimes cause problems.

What Does IFS Help With?

  • Depression

  • Anxiety & Worry

  • Grief

  • Shame

  • Guilt

  • Stress

  • Self Esteem & Confidence

  • Trauma

  • Anger

  • Fear

  • Jealousy

  • Trust and mistrust

  • Chronic health issues and illness

Firefighters

  • Firefighters are parts that go into action after the exiles have been activated in order to calm the exiles or distract the system from them (dissociation).

  • Reactive (does something and automatically responds to a crisis through numbing).

  • Pros: Helps you avoid pain. Great at fixing or solving problems. Quick thinker. Problem solver.

  • Cons: Exhausting and tiring. Always on edge and hypervigliance. Hard to relax and feel calm. Hard to sit in silence and still. Always thinking or working.

  • Firefighters help us:

    • Push down overwhelming emotions, painful experiences, and memories.

    • Defend from potential harm, abuse, and overwhelming emotions.

  • Examples of firefighter parts:

    • Binge drinking

    • Binge eating

    • Restricting food

    • Over exercising

    • Over working

    • Watching Netflix for hours and hours to numb

    • Self harm

    • Suicidality

    • Sex addiction

    • Porn addiction

    • Work addiction

    • Problematic substance use

Managers

  • Your manager part helps you function on a daily basis in regards to making decisions, achieving goals, and organizing your life.

  • Pros: Your manager helps you get out of bed, brush you teeth, go to work, feed yourself, and pay the bills. Can help you become successful and productive.

  • Cons: Motivated through judgement, criticism, and demand. Exhausting and tiring. Avoids vulnerability and relies on self.

  • Managers are proactive (planning, delegating, future oriented).

  • Examples of manager parts

    • Manages your self image and how you look to prevent you from being judged by others

    • Manages your productivity and success so you won’t fail and be rejected

    • Manages how others perceive you by people pleasing and seeking validation so you won’t disappoint others

    • Manages others by taking care of other people constantly at the expense of yourself so you can get your needs of connection and love met

Exiles

  • Parts of you learned to hide and go away because of past experiences of rejection, trauma, and hurt.

  • Your exile part would like to be seen and recognized, but your protectors are worried this will cause overwhelm and chaos for you.

  • Pros: Wants connection, trusting, vulnerable, tender, sweet, kind, loving, innocent.

  • Cons: Scared, fearful, hides, doesn’t take up space, afraid to speak up, terrified of rejection and being disapppointed.

  • Common beliefs of exiles:

    • Shame (“I am bad”)

    • I’m too much

    • I’ll be abandoned or rejected

    • No one really understands me

    • I’m all alone

  • Examples of exiles

    • Being bullied and ridiculed for being different

    • Being punished for having and feeling emotions

    • Being ignored for asking for needs/wants

    • Criticized they were unloveable, not enough, worthless

    • Shamed for being sensitive and empathic

Legacy Burdens & Burdens

  • Burdens are extreme ideas or feelings that are carried by parts and govern their lives. Parts accrue burdens from exposure to an external person or event.

  • Legacy burdens are extreme ideas or feelings carried by parts through multiple generations (your parents, your grandparents, etc.).

  • Examples of burdens

    • Scarcity

    • Shame

  • Examples of legacy burdens

    • “I have to take care of others and anticipate their needs”

    • “I have to earn love from others by doing and being worthy enough”

    • “It’s bad to have needs and wants of my own”

    • “I need to rely on myself. Relying on others is scary and uncomfortable”

    • “I need to work all the time. There’s not enough money and time in the world”

    • “Slowing down is being lazy and unproductive. I don’t want to be lazy”

IFS Therapy Can Help You

✔️ Get to know all your parts and heal them

✔️ Become more comfortable with vulnerability

✔️ Increase access and availability to your emotions and feelings 

✔️ Feel less alone (and more connected with yourself and others you care about)

✔️ Feel more safe in your body (and understand the reactions and ways to manage them) 

✔️ Better understand why you do what you do (to interrupt unhelpful relationship and emotional cycles)

✔️ Create corrective emotional experiences (to heal from past experiences)

✔️ Trust more in others (and trust yourself)

Healing Is Possible

There is hope.

I am Level 2 trained Seattle based trauma and couples therapist specializing in Internal Family Systems (IFS).

I’ve also completed Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO) - IFS for couples.

I enjoy working with survivors of childhood trauma, emotional neglect, grief, and attachment/developmental trauma.

I’ve worked with many survivors of childhood, attachment, and developmental trauma who now have more peace, joy, freedom in their lives.

I work with survivors of trauma who are now parents who want to parent healthier children and break the cycle of trauma.

I work with therapists and social workers who are wounded healers.

I work with professionals who feel exhausted, overwhelmed, burnt out, and want to take better care of themselves.

Reach out today to schedule a consultation.

Still Have Questions?

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  • IFS Informed

    Those who take our online courses in the IFS Learning Hub, attend our annual conferences, or participate in workshops from IFS Trainers, may represent this level of education by saying they are IFS Informed. This means you may take on an IFS lens in your work; while this is not what an IFS Trained or Certified therapist would do, it brings an awareness of the multi-mind model to one's discipline as scope of practice allows. This may be through your own inner exploration or by supporting others to build an awareness that their mind is naturally multiple.

    Examples may include helping others build relationships with parts, embody the 8 C's of Self-leadership, and/or map their inner worlds.

    Within the IFS Informed designation, those who have explored advanced applications of the model by participating our Continuity Programs will have a more substantial basis for IFS work than those who have attended a conference, workshop, or taken the Online Circle alone.

    IFS Trained

    To label oneself an IFS Trained therapist or practitioner, graduating from Level 1 Training is required at a minimum.

    Full use of the model, including all components and steps of the unburdening process, is taught in Level 1 Training with up to 100 hours of supervised experience from Lead Trainers to help guide you through the process.

    Completion of Level 1 Training also allows you to apply for Level 2 and Level 3 Trainings and/or serve as a Level 1 Program Assistant. Level 1 graduates may also choose to be listed in the IFS Institute Provider Directory and register their candidacy for IFS Certification, if desired.

    IFS Certified

    IFS Certification is a multi-step, multi-year process with a number of prerequisites. You can view the entire Certification path and policy on our website.

    IFS Certified therapists and practitioners have certain rights and responsibilities of use over IFS Intellectual Property within the framework of IFSI's policies and with respect to IFSI's trademarks.

    Those who are IFS Certified may embark on a path toward becoming Approved IFS Clinical Consultants or Trainers. For additional information visit: https://ifs-institute.com/trainings/ifs-certification

    • Some clients benefit from brief therapy (1-4 sessions) or short-term therapy (3-6 months) for a single issue.

    • Other clients benefit from long-term therapy (6-12 months+) for more complex issues.

    • We’ll end therapy when your goals have been met, your symptoms have decreased, you want space and time to integrate your learning, and/or at anytime you feel therapy isn’t helpful.

    • Some folks also like to pause and take a break, coming back when necessary.

  • I have 5 years of mental health therapy experience and 7 years of social services experience.

    The bulk of my training and experience has been in the realm and intersections of trauma, relationships, and culture.

  • You might cry. Many people do. And it's completely okay.

    Crying is a normal, helpful, and natural way for our bodies to release pent-up emotions. Crying is a way to let go of the pain, sadness, or frustration you may be carrying inside.

    By crying, you're actually taking a positive step towards healing.

    Or you might not cry. And that’s okay too.

  • While it's possible to work on your own personal healing, therapy offers different benefits that may be difficult to achieve on your own.

    Talking to a friend, reading self-help books, journaling, and scrolling through TikTok and Instagram are all tools. Therapy is another tool.

    Therapists provide:

    • Accountability

    • Support

    • An objective perspective

    • Structure

    • Confidentiality

    • Expertise, skills, and training

    However, some people never go to therapy and live full and complete lives.

    Therapy is only one way, but not the only way, toward healing, growth, and transformation.

    You get to decide if therapy will be an effective and useful tool on your healing journey.

Start Therapy Today

Beginning therapy is the hardest step.

I’m here to make it as easy as possible.